I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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