I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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