What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize