I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
