Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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