4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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