I think I just saw someone hide a body.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize