Are we in a gay sports bar?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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