Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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