So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
