I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
