The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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