If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
