Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
