So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
