Too much gin, very little bucket
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
