College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
