just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
