Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
