i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
sex in a hospital.. check
So much Jack, so little girl.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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