Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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