i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
