that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
