She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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