So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
