idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
