im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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