You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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