What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
