Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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