How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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