i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
