You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize