i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
