He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
