I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
