Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
