I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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