Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
