If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
