if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
How external is "for external use only"?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
the raccoons are back...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
