the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
