I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
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