i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize