Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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