While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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