Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
