Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
