My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
