I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
