his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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