I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Operation Purity has been aborted
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
