just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
