remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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