There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
This is classic penis vs brain.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
