I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
