I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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