this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
