i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
