Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize