ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
