i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
True strength comes from lack of pants
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
