Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize