I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Randomize
